Pastrami owns your face

Seriously, this is the best form of meat. Pastrami is your children's father, it's who you turn to when all else fails, it's your favorite TV show, it's your purpose in life. Nothing defies pastrami. Not even Leslie Nielsen or French Stewart, for they are what pastrami is made of. Pastrami is so amazing that I have lost interest in other sandwich meats. The difference is clear as sex with a pastrami sandwich and sitting in a library where they play muzak. That's right you ignorant shit, pastrami is so great that you can't even compare it to things that aren't pastrami. It even beats itself in how good it is, it's greatness is infinite.

So how 'bout them Macbooks?

Anyone seen the new Macbooks? Sexy as hell. I'll get one sometime. And then life will be amazing.