Monday, March 2, 2009

Back the fuck up.

Was that a commercial for high fructose corn syrup? Really?
I don't know if you've seen it or not, but some guy is sitting on the ground in the park when some woman comes by and she's like "HEY HAVE THIS POPSICLE."*
He looks at that shit and says "Fuck you hoe, I'm not eating that frozen chunk of high fructose corn syrup. That shit fucks you right the fuck up."*
She says "Screw that shit, this shit is the bomb. This shit is all the bombs. It only kills you because you aren't supposed to have that much HELL YEAH at a time. Eat it in moderation, you pussy."*
He says "Fuck, that's swish. Gimme that popsicle. You're still a hoe."*
And then the commercial's over. I didn't know what to think the first time I saw it. I still can't believe they put that on TV. It's one thing to advertise things that use HFCS, but the fact that they're advertising a damn ingredient is just awful. It'd be fine if the commercial was for vitamins or something healthy that they put in food, but it's not. They're essentially trying to convince you that it is OK to eat shit and die.
The commercial does insist that it's good in moderation. That's a lie. Something that is genuinely bad for you is not "good" ever. It's just less bad in moderation. Besides, even if it were true that it was OK in moderation, it is in everything you don't buy at a health foods store. Unless you shop at one, you can't have it in moderation.
There is a good side to these commercials though, I doubt they'd put them on if HFCS-products were selling as well as they used to be. Either it's because of the economy, or people are just getting more health-conscious and aren't buying it anymore. This commercial better not convince anyone of anything though.

* Quotes may be off by a word or two

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