Back the fuck up.

Was that a commercial for high fructose corn syrup? Really?

I don't know if you've seen it or not, but some guy is sitting on the ground in the park when some woman comes by and she's like "HEY HAVE THIS POPSICLE."*

He looks at that shit and says "Fuck you hoe, I'm not eating that frozen chunk of high fructose corn syrup. That shit fucks you right the fuck up."*

She says "Screw that shit, this shit is the bomb. This shit is all the bombs. It only kills you because you aren't supposed to have that much HELL YEAH at a time. Eat it in moderation, you pussy."*

He says "Fuck, that's swish. Gimme that popsicle. You're still a hoe."*

And then the commercial's over. I didn't know what to think the first time I saw it. I still can't believe they put that on TV. It's one thing to advertise things that use HFCS, but the fact that they're advertising a damn ingredient is just awful. It'd be fine if the commercial was for vitamins or something healthy that they put in food, but it's not. They're essentially trying to convince you that it is OK to eat shit and die.

The commercial does insist that it's good in moderation. That's a lie. Something that is genuinely bad for you is not "good" ever. It's just less bad in moderation. Besides, even if it were true that it was OK in moderation, it is in everything you don't buy at a health foods store. Unless you shop at one, you can't have it in moderation.

There is a good side to these commercials though, I doubt they'd put them on if HFCS-products were selling as well as they used to be. Either it's because of the economy, or people are just getting more health-conscious and aren't buying it anymore. This commercial better not convince anyone of anything though.

* Quotes may be off by a word or two

Congratulations, you've been selected to win a free chainsaw up the ass.

BEJIFNOIOSN. I hate talking ads. Today they decided to start putting them on one of my favorite comic sites, explosm.net . I don't want a free MacBook Air, but if it was advertising a free chance to force a free MacBook Air or a broken wine bottle (filled as far as it'll go with bleach, battery acid, and lemon juice) through the face of whoever came up with those ads, I'd jump on it almost before it had a chance to annoy me. 

But in all honesty, I sincerely hope whoever makes these gets shot with a machine gun. By that I mean a machine gun that shoots other machine guns. With the triggers taped down. Loaded with bullets and angry killer bees.

This guy needs to die worse than anyone has ever died before. He needs to have his skin peeled off and then take a bath in pure alcohol. First it'd burn worse than anything most people could imagine, then he'd die a horrible bloody painful death from the alcohol poisoning. I hope they seriously consider making a new level of hell just for him. It can be a bare room with no windows or doors where he has to listen to those ads forever.

Anyway, I don't have much else to talk of today. Maybe if I think of something I'll post again later.

Oh, I just realized that my Dreamcast Code Breaker which has been lost for about a year that's sitting under the box my iPod came in says "The Ultimate Cheat Disk."