Bawls

If you haven't had it, you've lived an incomplete life. I hope you aren't on your deathbed as you read this.

It's basically the best thing ever next to Dr. Pepper. It tastes awesome (and if you say it tastes like Sprite or Ginger Ale I will stick a lawnmower down your throat) and it is very caffeinated and it's great. I've had two today, I'm pretty wired right now. Despite it's somewhat low amount of caffeine (80mg per 12oz) it gives a surprisingly big buzz. Maybe it's because the caffeine isn't extracted from anything (the flavor and the caffeine both come from the guarana berry). Point is, it will make you shit your face because it is so good. It makes every situation awesome.

Leslie Nielsen is better than you.

Leslie Nielsen is great. He has always been the greatest person ever and always will be, including before he was born or even before his grandparents were conceived. He's the best everything at everything, including things he has nothing to do with. Yes, he is better than this blog, and yes, he was voted #1 Best Tasting Blueberry all of the times in a row. He is the Mini Cooper of people. Yeah, he's that great. I'd buy his CD even if he was awful at singing, but he can't be awful at singing because he's better than everyone else at everything. He's better at being you than you are, and you can try to argue with that, but logic will defy you, that logic being that he's Leslie-fucking-Nielsen, and he can't be beaten at anything.

Where is my fucking Mini Cooper?

I won't have a license for a while but they're just so awesome.

In other news, blogging to no one is actually kind of fun because I can write anything I want and no one will read it. I mean, I'd write anything I want anyway, but now I can write more anything I want.

ANYONE WHO'S EVER SUPPORTED KIDZ BOP SHOULD BE SHOT

ANYONE WHO'S EVER MARKETED TO KIDS BY SPELLING IT WITH A "Z" AT THE END SHOULD BE SHOT

THE JONAS BROTHERS SUCK

This is fun!

Anyway it would be kickass if the rumors about Apple planning to reduce price on future gadgets are true. If it was I'd have an orgasm out of all my organs and then it would also get easier to get that 24" iMac.