Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Actually The Jonas Brothers just suck.

Can you say "horrible generic tasteless American rock?" These guys suck. I found out that they have a YouTube channel. The video on the channel page decided to start playing on it's own and I only had to listen for about 10 seconds after the music started to realize that they are awful. Just for you, I decided to take the first few paragraphs of their description and complain about them:

Ask the Jonas Brothers who they're hoping to turn into fans with their new self-titled CD and they won't say "everybody." But that's precisely what they'll mean. "We're aiming for people our age," says 17-year-old Joe. "But we also wanna get kids younger than us," adds 14-year-old Nick. "And older people, too," 19-year-old Kevin pipes up. How samrt* of you, Jonas Brothers. You aren't targeting everyone, but you are targeting people your age, people who are younger, and older people too. Even the guy who wrote this paragraph knows how stupid you're being. And for those of you planning to argue with me, I know they aren't going to read this.

The highly anticipated People without fully developed opinional lobes (usually kids 11 or under, but some bloom late) do not count as people, so technically it was anticipated by no one follow-up to the New Jersey I'm gonna have to move. Now I know why all the other states dislike NJ so much. I apologize for everyone in the state to all the other states for this. siblings' 2006 debut—which featured the TRL hit "Mandy"—The Jonas Brothers is sure to make good on the band's goal: It's a high-energy pop-punk disc No it's not overflowing with insanely catchy hooks no, muscular guitar fuzz what? and mature songwriting what? that reveals just how much growing up the boys have done since we last heard from them. 

I only did those because there's no way in hell I'm going to listen to all their songs (no, not even the 30 second previews on iTunes) so I can say what's wrong with each of them.

By the way, has anyone noticed how unfortunate they look? They aren't as "attractive" as the fans make them out to be (as mentioned before). To quote someone from Yahoo! Answers, their faces look sorta like garden gnomes. I guess the least unfortunate one would be the eldest brother, but none of them are much to look at.

*Yes, I do realize that Maddox has made the joke.

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